While “reporting” about my experiences during the 21 days of Daniel Fast, I totally forgot to write about my oh so boring weekend. I tend to forget writing stuff in here in general but I really want to try write more in here because that’s what a blog is for, isn’t it? To write incoherent stuff about my random life. Right?
I am typing so hard
that my keyboard
just lost a key!
Hold on, let me fix this.
And so, for those lurkers out there who totally love reading bla bla, here is a bla bla recap on last weekend.
Last Friday Night
Friday Night we were preparing ourselves to leave for a nice trip to Germany. The small Indonesian church in Amsterdam that I serve at, decided that they wanted to see snow. Since we didn’t have much snow in the land of wooden shoes, we had to go elsewhere to experience a day of that “winter wonder land” feeling. And so we planned to travel to a ski region in Germany by bus. We were requested to gather at the church on a Saturday at 5:00 in the morning. The bus itself would make its departure at 6:00 in the morning.
Since there is no public transportation between 1:30 and 5:00 from my town to Amsterdam, we [my sibling and mom] were invited to spend the night at my aunt’s in Amsterdam. My aunt was going to Germany as well. Thus we could travel together to the church and such.
We were all looking forward to this trip. Even if it was just a long day in Germany and going back to Amsterdam in the same night. It still felt a little like a vacation. It also meant that Droppie Rabbit would be home alone for more than 24 hours. While preparing our bags and stuff for the trip to Germany, I also wanted to make sure that miss Droppie Rabbit was well taken care of during my absence. She has been home alone for more than 24 hours before.
And so I ended up expanding the cage of Droppie Rabbit. She used to have an entire 5×5 bedroom to herself in our old home. But in the new house, Droppie Rabbit and I have to share a bedroom. I was trying to figure out where to give her some extra space to run about in. She has her own couch in the study room downstairs where she can lounge on, but it is not the same as having lots of running space. I just find it sad for a pet to remain locked in cages for the most part of their life. And so on Friday I came to the conclusion to just add some ex-pen wires to her cage. She now has 3 times the size of her cage to wander about.
It takes up quite an amount of my bedroom but she looks so happy with it that it is totally worth it. Just look at her making a wonderful mess of her playpen.
So actually on Friday Night, after packing our winter-survival-kit, which existed mainly out of snacks and energy drinks, we took the last train to Amsterdam to spend the night at my aunt’s place. When we left our hometown it was actually snowing. We had no snow for most part of the winter. Now that we were going to travel to another country to experience some “winter wonder land” feelings, it was actually snowing in our hometown. How funny life can be sometimes. The irony was chilling haha.
Throughout the most time of the trip towards Germany I’ve been looking at the insides of my eyelids. I was really tired because we left so late on Friday night and left so early on Saturday morning.
After driving for several hours we arrived at Willingen. It is an adorable village surrounded by mountains covered in lots and lots of snow. It was a beautiful sight to see. At Willingen we met up with 2 church members who had already gone up ahead a few days before us, to this village in the snow. These guys like to go skiing and Willingen is just the place for that.
The snow inspired my brother to rent a snowboard and snow-boats and try on snowboarding for a day. He has never done anything like that before. He is afraid of heights and I remember when we were teenagers and when I tried skateboarding he was always the one scared to fall and all that. So for him to try on snowboarding was quite a surprise to me and my mom. I would have loved to try snowboarding too but I am living-la-vida-broka and was already more than grateful that the church paid my trip for me.
My brother was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder as a teenager. Since a few years ago, the doctors have come to the conclusion that he is “cured” and no longer in need of medication nor other forms of treatment. That being said, in stressful situations he can still have a relapse and certain characteristics of his disorder can still rise up. Snowboarding off a mountain while having fear of heights could be a stress trigger and could trigger a relapse. But, it could also be totally fine and the best experience he ever had. One of the skiing church guys happens to know of this and thankfully is understanding.
While my sibling entered the snowboard and ski-supply rental shop to rent his gear, the members of my church, my mom and my aunt left to go explore the village and the mountains. Because there was a possibility that my brother would freak out atop of the mountain, I was left to keep an eye on him with the two skiing church members.
I was also packed with two survival bags. One of my own and the other was from my brother. And, to be able to go up the mountain I had to either have a snowboard or skis. I had neither. Thankfully the skiing church guys were so friendly to escort my brother up the mountain. I was asked to wait for them to come sliding down. If my brother appeared to have a natural gift for snowboarding, the two skiing church guys would hang out with my brother for the rest of the day so that I could go find the others who were exploring the rest of the snow-covered village.
I settled myself down at a table at the foot of the mountain and senmunching away on chips and raisin bread while awaiting the moment my brother and the skiing church guys would finally ascend the mountain.
Minutes became hours and the charming snow started to become more chilling. After what felt like half a day, one of the skiing church members came down the mountain instead, without my brother. It turned out that my brother had been falling flat with his face in the snow most of the time. The guy from church said he would try to help my brother for the next few hours.
The other guy from church who was also on skis, had gone to the lifts to go up the other part of the mountain where the other church folks were. I figured to do just that too. And so I made my way towards the gondola lifts.
Up the other part of the mountain there was a restaurant and an observation tower with a climb wall. There I met up with the other church members. Unfortunately, none of them had seen my mother nor my aunt for quite a while. I was unable to contact them with my phone because there was no connection up that mountain. I just hoped that they were fine and maybe just exploring the other parts of the German village.
With the other church members I drank a nice cup of hot chocolate milk and we made some pictures of the area. It was quite fun. I was about to dare myself to go up the observation tower when a thick mist rose up. And just then the church guy who was helping out my brother at the other side of the mountain came to me. He said my brother was freaking out, explicitly demanding help from me and nobody else.
For a moment I felt guilty for leaving my brother with the guys from church, assuming I could enjoy and explore the winter snow on my own. For a moment I felt scared of what my brother was doing while freaking out. Was he just stubbornly sitting there in the snow or was he yelling at people? Was he hurt? What was going through his head?
And so I said goodbye to the church people and stepped into the lift to make my way down the mountain. I had to look for my brother and hopefully find my mother and aunt too.
The moment my lift reached the foot of the mountain and I had hopped off, I could see a familiair figure sluggishly moving in the distance. It was my brother. His head hung low as he dragged himself with the snowboard under his armpit towards me through the snow.
He said he was embarrassed about freaking out so much and he had laid flat in the snow most of the time. I tried to say some supportive things such as “At least you tried” and “I’s your first time snowboarding, you’ll get better with practice”. I also informed my brother that I had no idea where our mother was, nor our aunt. But his feet were sore from falling so much so I suggested it might be best to sit down somewhere for a few minutes at a local bar for a smoke and a drink and then maybe try look for our aunt and our mother. And, maybe he would regain new inspiration and courage to re-climb that mountain and retry the snowboard once more later on. He had rented it for the entire day and it was still early in the afternoon. Would be a waste to just throw in the towel just now when there was still a few hours left to try again.
We tried to enjoy our drinks and our cigarettes. But as we sat there, I came to discovery once again that I really cannot stand German party music. I don’t like Dutch party music either. Especially the kind we call “hoompa hoompa” music. It is the type of music one can only enjoy after drinking oneself into a coma… And the songs all sound the same.
After being exposed to the horrible German party music for a while, we decided to leave the bar and go and look for our mother and aunt. My brother was totally not motivated to go back up that mountain with his snowboard. We returned the snowboard gear at the rental shop, where I had the chance once again to practice my sad excuse of the grasp of the German language. “Es tut mir leit, meine Deutsch is schreklich aber ich wollen dezer snowboard zuruch geben, bitte”. The man behind the counter thought it was the cutest thing ever. It somehow pissed off my brother though. I have no idea why.
While searching for mom and aunty, my brother kept whining about his sore feet. Eventually we bumped into some other guys from church. They were looking for their wives, who had taken their credit cards with them and had probably gone shopping somewhere in the village. We were kind of surprised about that, because all we could see from where we were standing, were 2 large supermarkets. And the souvenir shop near the skis and snowboards rental shop.
And the women were gone for hours. The guys also said that there might be a chance that our aunt was there with their wives as well. They had also seen our mother at the travel bus with some other women from church. Once we got there at the bus we also were treated with some yummy Indonesian food that a few of the church women had prepared the day before.
Not much later the others came to the bus as well and it was time to leave the German beautiful snow village. We arrived in Amsterdam at about 23:00, said our goodbyes to the church people and each went to our own homes.
Sunday was church day and the day I mentally started to prepare myself for the Daniel Fast. I spent my morning watching Hour of Power and getting ready to meet up with my father later on. Every other Sunday, my dad visits his mother who happens to my grandmother. Things were so hectic in February and I wasn’t able to come along to visit grandma during that month. But with March I felt a new chance and opportunity to try to visit her again.
My grandmother suffers from dementia due to Alzheimer. Every time I set foot in her house I have to introduce myself and assure her I am not just the maid. She also mixes up the names of her children. Sometimes she calls my dad by the name of her deceased husband, my grandfather. It is quite a heartbreaking thing to see.
But sometimes she is able to share fragments of stories from her youth and from when my dad was still a child. She can bring up these memories with ease.
While grandma, dad and I were enjoying a cup of coffee and looking at old pictures, the nurse also dropped by. She is a nice woman of about my age, maybe younger and comes to help my grandmother with her breakfast, lunch and dinner. Aside from that, grandma is basically home alone when my dad or his siblings don’t come to visit. I find this quite sad really. But thankfully she also has a club of old folks she hangs out with 4 times a week. For a 93-year-old she still has quite a full agenda.
It was nice seeing my grandmother again and my dad and I have already agreed to visit her again in two weeks from now.
My dad dropped me off by car at my house. By the time I was home I still had plenty of time to make my way to the small Indonesian church in Amsterdam. But somehow something stopped me. Maybe I was just tired. Or maybe it had something to do with what I described in a precious blog entry; my frustration with church.
One thing certainly convinced me to stay home; the moment I stepped into my bedroom and saw miss Droppie Rabbit jumping with joy in her expanded housing. I took her in my arms and decided I could really use a nap. Fell asleep with the bunny in my arms and woke up at a time that church was already long over. It was nice to skip church for a change.
That’s all folks
Wow, this sure has become a long recap. I think I better go stare at the insides of my eyelids for a while and call it a night.
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