No! Not today…

fml-mondayHello my lurking lurkers! How is your day going? Mine started just a few hours ago and I’m already experiencing a classic case of the Monday-blues.

Since about a month now, I’ve managed to find a new job. Surely being employed beats living on welfare. But please, please don’t congratulate me for finally having a job again. Why not? Well. That’s because it is a job at a callcenter. The “joke” is that when I attended the job interview and the training day, I really hoped they wouldn’t hire me. I tried my best not to do my best. But they somehow thought I was fit for the job.

And now, I’m stuck with a contract with a shady company that stalks random people on the phone. It is now my duty to lather up the unsuspected victims with my cursed skill to kiss butt and gently force ridiculously overrated products down their throats. And I am starting to hate myself for it. What I hate the most about myself, when I’m on the job, is that apparently I tend to sound very nice and trustworthy on the phone. I just have to say hello and; Old people start telling me stories about their grandchildren, men of all ages boast about their accomplishments in life and the women joke about their stupid husbands. That part isn’t too bad. But. That’s when I throw in these phrases that make me want to vomit in my own mouth;

“Well, wouldn’t it be nice if you had this and that to surprise your grandchildren with?”


“You know what? I think you’re a really nice guy and I think you deserve to have this nice opportunity.”


“With this product, you can really rub it in his nose how smart you are and what an idiot he is.”

The fact that I can actually think up sentences like these to say to the hundreds of people I speak to while on the job is just such a horrendous realization. I cannot help but feel disgusted after every shift. I cannot help but feel disgusted towards people who work in this business for more than a year. Yet there are people who managed to stay in this sickening excuse for a job for decades! I have co-workers who have been working in this shady company for more than 20 years! I’m not sure whether to be impressed, feel pity or still be disgusted.

You know what makes it even more sickening? Their smiles! They all have these disgusting fake smiles. There are a few of them who never smile though. And those are actually the worse kind. Because those are the ones who will stand next to your desk and start yelling at you for not making a sale in the first 5 minutes you’ve just logged into your work space. They are the disgusting pigs who give female 17 year old co-workers back rubs. And you can tell that the girls are too scared to say anything, because they don’t want to get fired or because they are clearly too young. But when an older person has the guts to say something about it, he will yell. But I don’t give a damn, I yell back and call him a pig in the hopes to get fired. But with my luck: It’s a miracle that he hasn’t fired me yet.

Oh God…. Just a few more hours and I’m expected to show up to that dreadful God forsaken place. I so don’t want to go. No, not today. Not ever. Maybe I could call in sick? Who cares if they fire me? I sure don’t! I guess it’s time to go look for something else; A job that I will actually enjoy. I’ve been trying to find such a thing for years, but yeah… FML.


Thank you for lurking

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