Hello lurking lurkers,
How are you this lovely day or evening, or in whatever time of day you may live? I am fine. Enjoying myself a late night pizza after a meeting with the leaders of my small Indonesian church and the owners of the building we rent from. I was asked to attend the meeting, as part of the leading staff. Which I was quite surprised of.
God is funny, isn’t He? He sure is having fun with this socially awkward right here. Got to love Him for pushing His children into situations that they don’t feel themselves fit enough for. Yet once they go through it, survive it and grow from it they tend to become the strong and inspiring men and women of God that some would love to be. Not saying that I am anything like those strong and inspiring people. I just love doing what I do for the church, because I know He is with me with every step. Regardless of how terrifying it sometimes might be.
I remember when I was a child and going to this church with my mom. It was an Indonesian church in Amsterdam. Sunday school was not that interesting for me. I preferred sitting with the grown-ups and listening to the preacher. Sometimes, I found myself imagining how it would be like to stand there at the pulpit. I’ve dreamed of this quite often. But the preacher in that church said that a woman’s place was not at the pulpit. It was something only meant for a man. I thought it was a load of unicorn-poop. There are plenty of powerful female preachers, priests, pastors, evangelists and such out there. Back then and today. There’s Heidi Baker, Joyce Meyer and many other strong women of faith, who inspire thousands of people with God’s word.
When they called me earlier this afternoon that they were going to have a meeting in the church, I thought it was just about the regular things. We are having a benefit event in November and there are a few birthday parties planned in that month as well. And then there’s Christmas. Usually when there’s a meeting, it involves any church member willing to participate. But this time it was different.
This time it was just the chairman, the chairman’s wife, the treasurer and the owners of the church we rent each Sunday. I’ve met the owners of the church before. Last year when we were rehearsing with the choir and preparing ourselves for the rest of the activities we had planned that Christmas, the owners happened to be in the building as well. Then, I was introduced as “one of the worship leaders”.
Today, the chairman of my small Indonesian church introduced me to the owners of the building as “his assistant, secretary and coordinator of the board”. It took a while for me to process this new “title”. Were they merrily just saying this, so that it would not be weird for me to sit there and take notes? Or is this serious?
It makes the conversation I had with the chairman last weekend the more confusing. Two weeks ago we were sitting in church after another successful Sunday service with birthday party after. The majority of the guests had left, we had cleaned up after our party guests and were enjoying a last cup of tea with a small group, before parting ways.
The chairman sat with me that evening with his cup of tea. He said he would like to have a serious conversation with me about the church. We’ve had conversations like these before, I figured. I feel honored that he would consider my opinion about church management in general. Our chairman is getting older. Occasionally, he tells me how he would love to find someone to take over his position. It is not that he doesn’t love leading this church. He has been a chairman and preacher of this church for over 15 years. But he is getting tired, he just feels that he is becoming too old for it.
This serious conversation we had two weeks ago, was again about that subject. About him wanting to give his position to someone else. And he was looking at me with this weird grin upon his face. I wasn’t sure what to think of it. I wasn’t sure why he had that strange grin upon his face. The same grin he had on his face, when he came to me a few years ago and asked me whether I would like to sing in their church. Back then he asked that, without ever hearing my singing before. He asked me this, while I had grown fed up with churches and preferred to spend my Sundays at home. And now, I’m a worship leader in that church.
For a moment I felt like he was trying to tell me that he would like to promote me. For a moment, I thought of that little girl who preferred to sit with the grown-ups and listen to the preacher instead of going to Sunday school. I pictured myself at the pulpit. But… Maybe that was just my twisted ego. Why in the world would he want me to do that?
How silly of me…
I just looked at my cup of tea for a while, as if the tea would give me the words to say something. Maybe he just wanted my honest opinion, like always. And so I told him that whoever he chooses to take his place eventually, that it would have to be someone anointed for the job. I also told him that he would have to be patient with this person. That it might a better idea to have someone stand by as an assistant chairman or whatever. More importantly, that he would have to pray for it with his wife. That I would pray for it too. God will lead him to the person anointed for the job. But whoever it will be, that now is not the time yet for such a decision. His grin faded and he nodded silently as he took in the words I had spoken.
That was two weeks ago. Now I just got home after a very important church meeting and I was introduced as the chairman’s assistant, among other things. Did he just promote me? Am I seeing things? Am I making this more than it really is?
It was an interesting meeting though. We had a good talk with the owners of the building while enjoying a cup of coffee. They said they are still very happy with us renting their place every Sunday and on other days of the week.
They even said that if I would like to use the place for something, they would be open for it. And again, the chairman looked at me with that weird grin upon his face.
And I just sat there, staring at my coffee while making notes with a smile and nodding and laughing with them. And now I’m processing it all again and I…. It just… I am not quite sure how I should feel about all that has happened today. I guess I will have to pray for this. And I’m craving a mug of hot cocoa.
God bless you