Wednesday Ramblings: Social life of an introvert

“Sorry, I’m an introvert. I live in my own bubble most of the time, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

I’m an introvert and a hermit and enjoy spending most of my days by myself. With my head in the clouds, drifting away from thought to thought and basically just living in my own bubble I tend to kind of “forget” that there are people who actually want to interact with me.

At times I find myself feeling a little guilty – towards family members or people that I consider my friends – for not being more socially active with them. It might be mistaken by others as a disinterest on my part. They might think that I don’t really want to be their friend, or that I don’t care about them. As much as I enjoy being on my own, every blue moon I do enjoy the company of people. 

Just the other day, I hung out with a few friends whom I haven’t seen face-to-face for several months. Of course the pandemic was part of the blame for the lack of hanging out with them. But to just blame it on the pandemic wouldn’t be fair. 

It was fun to catch up with them; We had a few drinks, we had some good food and talked about whatever we wanted to share with each other. It was nice to hear how they were doing during the past few months and what they are planning to do in the upcoming months ahead. It was fun, to be somewhere other than the comfort of my own hide-out. At the end of our hang-out we said our goodbyes with the phrase; “It was good seeing you again. We should do this again sometime.”

But, should I feel obligated to plan another hangout with them again? I honestly don’t think so, why? Did I have fun? Yes. Did they have fun? I think so, yes. Do I like hanging out with them? Sure. Would I like to see them again? Sure. Yet, I don’t feel the need to want to be around people every single day. Heck, I don’t even interact with my own family every single hour of the day. Now that my parents are getting older I do try checking up on both of them every day and I do try to check up on my siblings too. But even so, I do have my limits. 

It’s why I don’t really date. Sure, every relationship is different and thankfully no single individual is exactly the same. But when it comes to building a relationship with a significant other, there is usually the need to want to be together, to spend time together. In my case that usually would just turn out to be a disappointment for the other person; I would spend maybe a week max with them and then go and disappear for a while only to reappear again after a while. That’s not really fair towards someone else.

To be honest, to spend more than a few days with one person is just… Draining. I feel energized the moment I see these people, but afterwards I just get so tired. 

To find a proper balance between the need to be alone and the need to want to acknowledge the people you care about; is to just be upfront about the introversion. “Sorry, I’m an introvert. I live in my own bubble most of the time, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.” If they care about me too, they hopefully understand.

To have a social life as an introvert is something, that’s for sure.

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