Rolling with the fatness

Somehow, my attempts in losing weight have actually backfired big time. In the last few years I’ve actualy gained weight instead.

The weight gain is partly due to my thyroid levels being low, my IBS (Imovable Bowel Syndrome) is getting worden and probably because of the sleeping meds I have experimented with to be able to get a more healthier sleeping pattern.

Not too long ago, going days without sleep was “normal”. I simply couldnt fall asleep. My GP gave me sleeping medication to try out. And some worked better than others.

Sleeping is not a problem anymore. But one side effect of the sleeping meds is…. Weight gain…

Maybe I should excersice more? Maybe walking an hour to work is not enough? Maybe eating gluten free isn’t enough? Maybe using laxatived to keep my bowels moving isn’t enough….

I could beat myself up about it, but what good would that do? So I try to look at my fat self and accept it.

What makes it even “easier”, is how other people seem to treat me different now that I’m shopping for plus size fashionables.

Folks whom I haven’t seen in a while actualy greet me with the phrase; “Wow, you are huge! OMG wow, you are a fatty!” And when I look insulted, they are surprised. Because anyone else will consider it a compliment, when someone greets them this way…. It makes me want to throw stuff at them, but that’s not a nice Christian way…

Rolling with the fatness… I hate myself for letting the negative feels and thoughts get to me… I thought I had thick skin, but I guess I need to grow an extra layer. Because I don’t want to feel hurt, simply because someone else feels the need to express what they think of my appearance.

Others have a right to not like the way I look. I have the right to not give their opinion any value.

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