Dear drunk train passenger

manner200812_picI understand that it is finally weekend and that this means it is party time for you. I understand that you just had to rush to the nearest bar to treat yourself on a well deserved bottoms-up, to celebrate your weekend. I understand that you might go overboard and drink so much that you can’t even walk in a straight line anymore, let alone talk like you’ve lost all your teeth [assuming you still have your own teeth]. I understand. I do.

I don’t mind when you and your fellow drunken comrades are talking so loud that we can literally hear your entire drunken conversation on the other side of the wagon. Sometimes I find it amusing, even. Because when you and your jolly drunken friends are singing and joking about, it can be entertaining.

I do have one small request to address towards you, my drunken fellow traveler. For the love of God or whatever it is you find important in life; When you can’t hold your liquor and feel the need to empty the insides of your stomach somewhere, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS RIGHT AT THE DOOR OF THE TRAIN! And once you’ve emptied your stomach and accidentally spilled some of that gunk over yourself in the process, please DON’T sit next to me or SPEAK to me. I won’t be friendly, I will snitch on you when the ticket inspector asks who decided to paint the train door “yellow with chunks”.


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