Are you down?

QmashiQdropDear self, I am writing you on this lazy Sunday with a nice glass of Pleegzuster Bloedwijn and some goat cheese. Mmmmm;  goat cheese is yummie!

I’ve also got some chicken legs swimming in the deep fryer, filling the house with the lovely smell of FRIED CHICKEN! OMG, I love chicken. I’m having another bad case of the munchies and self reflection on a Sunday.


In the meantime, Queen Droppie is seated on her throne, the couch in the livingroom, again. Her sister Queen Mashimaro is seated on the other throne, the other couch, next to her. We are doing nothing but staring at a TV screen while eating and drinking on something tasty.

Btw;  Hooray for aunt Patty Mary Sue; her monthly visits “lifts” up one’s spirit every time. It’s always fun when she drops by. *cough* But to be honest; PMS can be a bitch.

The Queens don’t have their periods, but they sure as hell bitched slapped one another a few seconds ago when I tried to put them together on the couch… Those two are like fire and ice. They need a certain distance to be able to both feel free and comfortable to remain calm and relaxed and not go terror-bunny mode on each other. But hey; at least they aren’t fighting or wrecking the furniture! So it’s all good.


Speaking of watching TV; I watched this show by a Dutch well know comedian named Najib Amhali with a bunch of friends this weekend. Najib Amhali is known for his jokes about life as a Moroccon Dutch person and the funny sounds he can make with his mouth; his beatboxing.

Just take a look at this clip of his doing an Indian beat complete with vocals from a few years ago.

Like many comedians, he uses situations that happened in his life for his jokes. But in this new show of his, he was literally going on and on about how his life had gone rock bottom, with lots of moments not being funny at all. It wasn’t aweful, though. It made me reflect on the passed days and about my own life.

And so now I am thinking of what has perked my emotional rollercoaster ride most, throughout the days of life. The only question that rises up to me is; Are you down? It’s alright if the answer can’t be blurted out right away, these things take time to consider.

Emotions can be a choice. You consider to feel certain emotions and when to feel them, and when not to. The question is, do you want to feel down? Nobody wants to feel down; period. But sometimes it just rises up from deep within. It goes with moments of complete randomness. On times when you allow yourself to feel down. Down for whatever, whatever’s clever.


You know what? Instead of being down for whatever, be down for something else worth dwelling about. And you tell yourself this frequently; you tell yourself to focus on happy thoughts and to look on the bright side of life. And there; amidst all the random bad things that occur in anyone’s lifetime, there is plenty to feel happy about. The fact that you can wake up and manage to get out of bed while being chained onto a big fat elephant is quite a victory on its own. There are people who can’t get out of bed. I’m assuming I don’t have to visualize the people who literally can’t get out of bed, due to a terminal illness for instance…? Stop feeling sorry for yourself. I pitty the fool who wallow in self pitty! You are not the only one wit issues; deal with it!

Dear self, I know I’m being hard on you sometimes. Asking questions that aren’t really fair and trying to talk a guilt trip on you. Honestly, I am trying to bring this as delicate as possible. Because some people out there are hypersensitive for certain expression of emotions. And if you’re down with that, that’s fine. But Some say it’s good to be a self critic. It’s good to ask yourself why, every once in a while. Because who are you to judge someone else for their choices in their lives? Deep down, everyone has trials and tribulations that keep them from stepping out of their comfort zone. Even the bad ones, the vicious cycles we bound ourselves to. Because they are just too accustomed to feeling depressed too, once in a while. And we all deal with that feeling in our own ways.

Others run away from it; they try to push the depression away by taking on all types of projects and setting up a certain lifestyle, allowing themselves not to feel a thing for days, weeks, months.

Sure, they feel the happy thoughts they keep telling themselves to feel happy about. It’s ’cause they’re an alcoholic, or on drugs! Or suffering from some other addiction. A job can be an addiction too, you know. And food can be an addiction, and bags of rabbit droppings from the third floor can be an addiction. Smoking crack can be an addiction, even smoking your own crack.

Or maybe they prefer to hide in the books they read, the internet they explore, the movies they watch, the people they know, the mess they make. Everyone deals with it in their own way. Not everybody is down to deal with it the same way someone else deals with it.

Every Monday morning we all ask ourselves; is this my life? Is this how I want to wake up every morning? I wish it was Friday. Why can’t weekends last 5 days, instead of 2? Are you kidding me? Are you serious?

It would all be easier. But on the other hand, time goes by so fast that before you know it, it’s actually another Friday. And sometimes those 5 days during the week do fly by like a gust of wind. Usually it’s on days when you have been able to let go of a few brainfarts that clog up your mind. Because it is a choice to stay down every single day.

With ups and downs it goes. I’m just so grateful that God allows us all to screw up again and again. You can just dust yourself and try again, anyway. We can all dust ourselves off and try again. Isn’t that just awesome? How great is that!  Well, I it sure makes me feel good about myself, down with myself. Thank God for that. Things could always be worse…

For some reason, Queen Mashimaro and Queen Droppie both dislike MTV, btw. They rather watch the Tell Sell Shopping Channel than watch all these stupid sappy soapy reality shows on MTV. I sure miss the days when there were actual music videos passing by…

Thank God for Comedy Central, though. My funny bones slightly reach a peak from all the fun stuff they air. Can someone explain to me, though why Mellisa & Joey is considered a funny comedy sitcom? And why is it they think it’s so funny that they plan to air it the entire weekend?

Hmmm… I better go serve the Queens. I think they’re down for some chow. And I really need to switch the channel… I feel like slapping Melissa and Joey. *switches channel with remote*  South Park is on!

OMG, Queen Droppie just dug herself a hole through the foulards

Dear self, you’re on your own again. Just wanted to let you know; It’s okay to be down every once in a while, that’s all I wanted to say. It’s okay to deal with it in your own way. Just don’t let it get to you too much. Things will be better.

“Don’t worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will resolve itself.”

– matthew 6:34

And if you can’t help but feel bothered all the time, pour yourself a nice glass of Dutch Pleegzuster blood wine, not to be mistaken with Klingon blood wine. It’s good for you. It will at least stimulate your bowels and that alone can help you get rid of that constipating feeling. While you’re at it, have yourself a bucket of KFC and some kroepoek *yum*

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s