I feel like killing my boss

So I’ve called in sick from work a few weeks ago. I’m still getting paid (hooray for the Dutch work policies). In the meantime I’m still trying to figure out what to do with that asshole who calls himself a boss.

Some say I should just sue the guy. But what’s there to sue? It’s not like I have proof of what happened. I’m still trying to figure out what happened and why I feel so twisted about the whole thing. Maybe it’s just the act of almost having it happen that still keeps me spooked. Some of my friends say I should be proud that I stood up for myself. But I still wonder if I could’ve done something more that specific day. All I know is;  The thought of going back to the factory makes my stomach turn.

Seriously, I need to find a new job. That’s the only logical thing I can think of right now. I don’t want to see that guy ever again. Cause if I do, I might go psycho. And trust me, I am a pro at going psycho. To avoid pushing myself passed the higher insanity level (I’ve crossed the border between sanity and insanity the moment I hit puberty, so…) I figure to just search through newspaper ads and websites of job agencies for new job opportunities. Without luck so far, unfortunately. Let’s face it, I’m not the only one looking desperately for a job.

Maybe I should rob a bank? **ponders** Nah…

I’ve been having these dreams where I kill my boss. Some are quite hysterical, actually. Like this one dream I had where I trick the boss to come and meet me at night at the factory. I’d lure him to the kitchen, where there is a gigantic pot of freshly cooked spaghetti sauce awaiting him. And then guess what happens? I pour the thousands of liters of spaghetti sauce all over the bastard’s crotch! Then I call his wife, while he is screaming out in pain, and tell her that her husband’s skills as a lover will have some drastic changes. But she’d chuckle and agree with me that it’s not a big loss. In the dream the wife thanks me and I get promoted.  In real life I’d probably be put away in jail in the psychiatric ward.

I’ve also been dreaming about setting the factory on fire, with just the boss inside. It’s been a while since I’ve actually set anything on fire. Sure, I’ve got candles and incense to light up whenever I please. But setting something in fire like oh let’s say my old art class is just a complete different thing, isn’t it…? But that was a once in a lifetime escapade that I luckily never got caught for. I was a whole lot younger and could run a whole lot faster back then. To do such a thing now would be stupid.

Yet… Somehow I do get a tingly feeling about the thought of setting that place on fire. And I can’t help but think of a way to kill my boss. How about if I just shove him from the top floor through the window? Or maybe I should just stomp him to death (have I mentioned how lethally dangerous those shoes at work are?). How about if I shove him in one of the human-sized ovens we have at the factory?


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