:(

noopie2Some say that when one half of a couple passes away, the other half will follow their lover soon afterwards.

A month ago, the only man of the house passes away. Today, his wife followed. What to do now, who am I going to play Xbox Games with now?

My personal assistant, as I like to call her, was so smart. Some say rabbits cannot be trained like a dog. But I beg to differ, because she listened, kind of like a dog would listen.  But different at the same time, because a rabbit, like a cat, still has it’s own strong mind and can be stubborn. But, she and I had a mutual understanding. She would stay put if I told her, I would only have to tell her to do something once and she’d do it.  She wasn’t always like that.

I remember when I first met her, about 6 years ago.  She was only 7 weeks old and I was actually checking out this refridgerator at a family’s house to buy for my first house, or something. They had a huge amount of unexpected young rabbits there. All white with spots. I love rabbits and so of course I asked if I could just have a look at each of them. That’s when they told me they had one wild colored rabbit in a seperate room. They had seperated her, because she started attacking her siblings and even her caretakers. I wanted to see that fiesty little thing! A little fearsome, the lady got her for me. The wild colored rabbit scratched up the lady’s arms, she was bleeding from the scratches that’s how deep she had been scratching her. And in a fearsome act, the woman handed the fiesty little thing over to me. Within an instant, the fiesty little girl was calm and it felt like we bonded right there.

Eventually I ended up not buying the fridge. I went home that day with my own fiesty little rabbit. I remember how she loved to sit on my lap when we drove her to my house with the car and how she enjoyed the many travels we had with the car after that day.

It’s strange because the passed few days it seemed like she was taking her time to say goodbye, just like her man did a month ago. Maybe it’s something only an animal lover could understand what I’m about to say but; when you have a certain bond with an animal, like I have with mine, you just sense more than just the basic needs they have. You sense when something’s wrong.

The passed few days, my personal assistant wasn’t the funny, jumpy and energetic girl. Something was wrong. She normally danced for her food. But now I had to help her eat, feeding her by hand like I had fed her two kids 4 years ago. The poor thing wasn’t able to eat on her own 😦

All of my rabbits, so far, have become pretty old. My personal assistant’s man was 10,5 years old. I had a rabbit before him, who reached the same age. Call it stupid or foolish, but I somehow just assumed that she too would become very old. That she was strong enough to survive whatever she had.

Today things went really down will with her. She started hyperventilating. We went to the vet with her. That’s when we heard about the cancer that had developed in her uterus and had spread to her lungs. The vet said that unfortunately, they couldn’t fix it either and that it would be fatal in a short period of time. The vet felt the need to compliment me on how well I had taken care of my wild lil fiesty personal assistant. How I shouldn’t feel bad for the fact that we hadn’t discovered the cancer sooner. But I still feel bad about it, I still somehow blame myself for not going to the vet sooner. Or not asking for an x-ray during previous vet visits (like on vaccination day – rabbits need to be vaccinated twice a year). Why didn’t I sense something was wrong with her sooner? All these why’s and how’s and what-if’s…

He also recommended us not to let her suffer any longer.  Cancer sucks, whether you’re a human or an animal.

I’m just… So sad right now. I better go…


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