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Have you ever been so fed up with a job that you just wished that they would fire you?

I work for this company that pretends to treat their employees like human beings. In the meantime, you’re expected to behave and preferably look like a Barbie doll with a fake smile and no feelings. If you can’t laugh at a racist or sexist joke made by the boss or anyone from management, that’s a problem. Don’t even dare to go to HR about it. Need a toilet break? If you dare to go to the toilet for longer than 10 minutes, they will harass you either by calling you on your mobile phone or knock on the bathroom door. No you can’t take a poop in the boss’ time. Do it in your own time! Preferably before or after work hours. Are you sick? We don’t care, take a vitamin and keep working. Your family member died? Grief in your own time. Don’t let it affect your job. You’re expected to work like a machine, flawless and non-stop.

They act like they are the best workplace in the world. Like it’s such a privilege to work for them. Meanwhile I’ve seen so many faces coming and going. The ones that stick around for longer than 5 years are rare. The special ones, that know how to lick butt cheeks. They pretend to be nice to you and talk behind your back. Securing their own position by making sure others will leave by themselves.

In my head I’ve prepared numerous of things to say to my boss and to my co-workers. I had wonderful dreams of setting the place on fire, or that the company would be shut down due to malpractice. But when it comes down to it, I just freeze, nod and say thank you for all the bitch slaps they hand me. And for what? Why am I accepting this? Is it really worth the paycheck?

Then again. Would things be any better at another workplace? I’ve seen so many companies in the last few decades. There’s always something. How silly of me that I hoped this job would be different and better than all the crappy ones I’ve had in the past. Here we are, 6 years later since I first set foot in that hell hole. I’m tired but can’t sleep. I’m fed up but don’t know how to quit.

Maybe I should just call in sick and stay sick for a very long time. Maybe I should do an even more crappier job then I’m already doing. It’s what they expect of me. Maybe then they will fire me. We’ll see.

Meanwhile, the weekend has begun. It will fly by like every other weekend, for another work week to begin. If a bus could run me over by Monday, that would be great.

Any tips on how to get fired? I’m open for suggestions.