[insertniftyphrase]

So… It’s been a few days since I made a serious blog entry in here. I’ve been a little pre-occupied with several things. Not that anyone cares…

*shrugs*

I care though, I like writing stuff down in here. The fact that hardly anyone reads this stuff gives it a more private feeling *grins* So BOOYA… Or something. (booya probably sounds more fun when you’re Dutch… But whatever man).

*sigh*

The only man of the house passed away last weekend. I miss him so much and I’ve been pretty sad about this great loss. Especially the first day after it happened was hard. I couldn’t stop crying about the fact that he is no longer with us.

I was so used to having him around and eventhough we all knew it would happen someday, I felt really gatsie this time. FYI: gatsie means “yuck” or “icky”, incase anyone wonders…

Some routines are still not out of my system. Yesterday I went to the grocery store and somehow I was adding his favorite food and snacks to my shoppingcart. I usually sing a song to him out of nowhere with his name in it… I used to do things like that for over 10 years 😦

When people  used to ask me what I thought of dating, I used to tell them that the only man in my life lives in a cage. The phrase used to make people frown or chuckle.  Some would laugh about it, others would say I’m a twisted soul. I loved saying it. What woman wouldn’t want a man living in a cage in their house? It’s wonderful and I strongly advise it to anyone!

But to say this phrase now is just… It doesn’t feel right anymore. Because he is gone. The only man of the house has left his cage to never return.

It’s not like he was forced to stay in his cage, by the way. He was free to go wherever he pleased. And believe me, when you’re the only man of the house with not 1 but 6 women around you, you don’t mind. Especially when the women are willing to give you everything you want.

Yes, this man really loved his cage. We made sure of that. It was more of a large bed with lots of pillows, really. A large bed with surrounded with bars and a door that we could lock whenever needed. Cause he enjoyed his privacy from time to time. But most of the time, he loved to hang out with us. Watch a movie, play a game or just chill.

We are the kind of people who like to dance around the house in the most hideous outfits ever, while singing along to any given song; from Linkin Park to The Ink Spots. And when we don’t have music on, we like to crack jokes and act crazy anyway.

I sometimes feel pity for my neighbors, we are one noisy bunch. We are nuts!

In the past, our neighbors assumed that the weird screams coming from our house meant we were either having a fight to the death or having seizures. We just like to have fun, that’s all. And all the while, the man of the house would just sit and relax and enjoy our crazy behavior. At times, he would act all funny and crazy out of nowhere too.

He was such a lovable man. He had such a wonderful spirit. An inspiration, really. This man has shown me that despite of all the pain and complications anyone goes through, with love and the right attitude you can live a long and happy life. And he did, he lived longer than any medic suspected him to live.

When he was younger, he was an expert in giving massages. Best massages in the world! He liked to goof around and have fun. He enjoyed life to the fullest.

In fact, when he came to live with us about 10 years ago, medics warned us that he was very ill and that he might not live long. But medics can say a lot of things, can’t they? Cause this man sure proved them wrong, several times. For several years, actually. Because he lived 10,5 years longer than any medic assumed he’d live. He had such a strong mindset, such a lust for life.

Words cannot express what he meant to me, what he means to me to this day. I’m going to miss him so much. There’s now an empty spot where his cage used to be. The house just doesn’t feel the same without him. It feels so empty.

If it weren’t for the fact that his widow and daughters live here, I’d feel even worse I think. They make the feeling of loss a whole lot more doable (<– is that even a good phrase? eh… booya). His widow is such a lovely lady. I fell in love with her eyes and her witty attitude. Their kids have traits of both. His one daughter looks so much like him. She has that soft and sweet personality. Likes to cuddle, just like her dad did. I love them all so much.

I hope his widow and kids will stick around for at least 5 to 6 years, just like he did. Maybe even 10, that would be even better.

 

Darn… I sure am going to miss him. My sweet little man who made me laugh and gave the best hugs in the whole wide world. The most handsome man ever. My sweet mister rabbit 😦